(You can read the first part here, or just jump right on in.)
The most frustrating kind of debate about race is one with an intelligent, well-read white person who isn’t a racist, but still doesn’t “get” it. If you’re a racist, you’re easy to brush aside. If you’re ignorant, I can teach you things. But if you read things and those things didn’t affect your worldview, there’s really nothing about my experience that will change your mindset. However, that doesn’t invalidate the way I feel, and that is the most frustrating part of the conversation: Just because you don’t understand my feelings doesn’t render them invalid.